A volatile stock market, unpredictably disastrous weather, home mortgage crises and tightening credit crunch all add up to increasingly difficult home environments. Some of the most at-risk members of our population include pregnant and postpartum mothers. They are already coping with tremendous hormone and brain chemistry changes, and have a biological imperative to establish a safe haven for their new charges.

Unstable world environments can make the creation of a stable home life impossible, ramping up stress and wreaking havoc in parent’s minds and bodies. A stressed mother equals a stressed baby, but the reverse is also true. Helping a new mother feel more secure will have a positive effect on the baby as well. Here are some tips to cope with difficult times:

1. Focus on the Present. It may be tempting to think about the list of problems stretched out ahead of you. This will only lead to a downward mental spiral. Instead, ask yourself if you and your baby or child are safe for the moment. If you are, take a deep breath and allow a moment of gratitude. If not, do whatever you need to do to get the two of you into a safe environment and take it one day at a time.

2. Allow Yourself to Be Honest. You may need to temporarily suppress some emotions for the sake of being able to move forward in the world, but ignoring your feelings completely can be dangerous. Give yourself permission to feel whatever is going on inside. Do an internal check. Are you mad, glad, sad, scared or some combination of these?

3. Connect. You are not alone. Connecting with other people and sharing your story can help you feel sane again and bring comfort to everyone involved. If you can do this face-to-face, great. If not, go online and find support groups to connect with there. Quality matters more than quantity. Connecting with just one person or group of people who can be present and supportive can do a world of good.

4. Nurture Your Senses. What do you love? Sights, smells, sounds, tastes and touch all have the capacity to nurture our spirits. At a time when indulgences may seem impossible, you can nourish yourself by paying attention to the smallest treats. Ask yourself what you love to taste, touch, smell, see and hear. Think of ways to do two or more at a time and really focus on them. Some of the best ones are completely free. Really tasting a meal, noticing the colors in the world around you, feeling the warmth of your child’s skin, hearing the sound of a loved one’s voice can sustain you through some of the most difficult times. Strive to indulge each of your senses in some small way each day.

5. Attend to the Basics. You need to eat, sleep, breathe and drink water every day. Remembering these small, simple steps will increase your your health and vitality when you need it the most.

6. Ask for Help. You do not need to prove your competence by trying to do everything alone. People may not realize you need help unless you let them know. Don’t let pride or shame get in the way. Whether you need help with housing, food, finding information, a safe person to talk to, a little time for yourself away from your baby or some extra sleep, give yourself permission to ask. Asking doesn’t guarantee you will receive the help you need, but it will dramatically increase your chances.

This entry was posted on Sunday, March 29th, 2009 at 2:07 am and is filed under Parenting. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.