How To Promote Honesty With Kids
Honesty is one family value that I strongly encourage in my household. How do I do that, you say? The consequence is always much less severe when a child confesses and is honest.
Unfortunately one of my sons yesterday decided to be dishonest with me and I was not impressed. He tried to tell me that his school teacher was responsible for him missing the bus to sports.
When I phoned his teacher I found out the truth. Yes, he had been kept in for a few minutes at lunch time but he did still have plenty of time to catch the bus to sports. But on the way to the bus he had been given a better offer from a friend of his so Sam simply decided to go to another sport instead, without telling anyone.
I couldn’t understand why Sam had pointed the finger at his school teacher when it wasn’t her fault at all. He missed the bus because he had been making poor choices. But why had he tried to blame a teacher? I was puzzled as to why he hadn’t taken responsibility for his actions.
Now here’s the thing: we cannot control what our kids say or do. But we can and should be in charge of what we do about it. And this where the kids learn to do things differently next time. When Sam gets home from school today I am going to talk to him about trying to blame everyone else for his mistakes. I want Sam to think about what he would do if he was the parent. Sam is thinking right now that he has done nothing wrong because he is trying to justify his actions. So I want to get him thinking about how we can change things.
Anyhow, we will talk this afternoon. My objective is to help Sam realize that he must take responsibility for his own actions without trying to blame anyone else for his poor choices. If I can get him to see that, then I have done my job in this matter.
Unfortunately for Sam, he will be getting a consequence as he not only lied, but he tried to cover up his lie, which is against our family value system. I must give Sam a consequence so that he learns from this episode.
Parents, you have a chance to choose what your family’s core values will be. You should talk to your kids about them, encourage them and uphold them at all times. Your kids will thank you later on in life, you can be sure of that. So think about your core family values today.
